Castles In The Sand

When I was younger, I would sit for hours and build castles in the sand.  I built worlds of Gods and set their planets to spin.  I let my hands mold the Earth into what I needed it to be.  What a simple lesson all too easily forgotten.

There is change brewing in the Universe.  I can feel it.  I can feel a shift - like the Earth moving. If I stand really still, I swear, I can feel the Earth spin.  Once again, I find myself on a path in this world I have built, standing at a cross roads, daring to take the path less traveled.

On days like today, I am grateful for foresight, and I am grateful for the hope it brings.  I believe that change, sometimes, is as good as a rest.  It never comes without challenge, they are like yin and yang, but it brings newness, forward movement and strength.  Change shapes our character, our souls, and our sight - both hind sight, and foresight.  Hind sight is 20/20, foresight is often blurry with lightened horizons.  So turn your face towards the sun, and let the shadows fall behind.  What will be will be.

I once read "if nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies", and I believe that whole heatedly.  I know I am about to face the challenge of change.  I can feel it in every molecule of my being.  Maybe it's the new university program I have looked into, or the possibility of a new place to spend my days.  Maybe the change will be a difficult one, there is always so much going on in my life that I never discount it.  Whatever this change is that is nagging at my soul, it is sent with a purpose.

I will have the foresight to welcome change, and mold it like clay of the Earth, letting it run through my hands, breaking it apart until it is what I need it to be. I will not forget to build castles in the sand beneath my feet.

(1981...what a good year)

I Do Not Walk Alone

I have been challenged, of late, with forgiveness.  I have prided myself ,for a very long time in being a soul of forgiveness and peace.  I believe that negativity brings darkness, and darkness blocks out light.

I have some things to work on... I have caught myself hanging onto anger lately.  I have found myself holding the past in my hands and covering it with blame and and misplaced hostility.  Oh the twist of darkness.

I am grateful that I can recognize such darkness and consciously go into it in the mindset of finding light.  I am grateful for life lessons of past that let me transform energy into working kindness, and three fold return.  I am grateful for the strength in my soul that lets me face darkness, knowing I shall never face it alone, even when I feel weak, and abandoned.

It is not my place to hold anger.  I have made a promise to offer up my darkness to the light, and give it to God.

I do not walk alone. I do not walk alone.  I do not walk alone.

Time does not heal all wounds, but light may fill the spaces of the scars.

I will try to be better.

I do not walk alone.

Meeting Malevolent Mediocrity on Monday

It's hard to write a gratitude post when I am angry.  I have had an angry day.  This will not go down in the book of good Mondays.  Aside from tiny irritations of my day, like being locked out of my office before anyone with a key showed up, and smug, smirking s.o.b's that deserve less than none of my energy and get it anyways, there are bigger issues in my closet.

I am dealing with an old, large, daunting demon today.  The demon of learning disorders and a less than interested (yes those are my nice words) teacher.  I am frustrated, and angry, and I am actually grateful for that, I think.  I am grateful for the fuel.  I am proud to be a parent who gives a damn, and one who refuses to let her child fall through systemic cracks in our education system.  I am grateful I expect more from my child than mediocrity and flying under the radar.  Nothing gets past mom-dar: a radar of epic motherly proportions.

I am grateful for the calm after the storm - maybe I should write about that tomorrow - after the parent teacher interview (or as I like to refer to it - "fourth meeting's a charm?).  I know I will feel better having defended my stake in my child's educational claim to those who need to listen, and I know I will feel empowered to make a difference - it's what drives me, and there will be peace, sooner or later.  Let's pray for sooner...

I am also grateful for this little dandy survey:

A parental survey about the new format of reporting a child's learning.  In my opinion it's our way of telling our kids it's ok to be mediocre and to accept and "ish" approach to grasping concepts.  I do not enjoy it.  I do, however find the scale useful in rating aspects of my children's education:

Your child's teacher has met your expectations and the needs of your child:

Not Yet          Approaching          Meeting          Excelling

Please Comment: ohhhhh  I would love to! 

I think I may make my own survey and send it to the school board....

Yes, an angry, angry day prevails...