I Learned...

Monday.

Ugh.

I am having a frustrated day.  Not frustrating, frustrated.  I am frustrated with life, and society, and parents.

I want to crawl back into bed so the rest of the world would just leave me alone.  My words are sharp, my patience is in short supply.  I want to write, but my own frustration is getting in my way.  So here I am.

Here I am.

Here I am, cultivating gratitude, remembering the blessings I have in my life, and things I have learned.

...learned...

After my weekend of tweenager traffic in my house, I have learned I am a better parent than many.  I have learned how lucky my children are, and that no matter how humiliating it may be to them, I will always, always care too much.

I also learned this weekend that my words of past feuds (for lack of better words today) have had a permanent impact - and for that I am not grateful.  I am very sorry that words said may have altered someone's thoughts.  I am going to take some steps to make this better - and for learning to do that, I am grateful.

I learned my children have beliefs of their own.  This is a hard one for me in many ways.  I always wanted my children to chose their own path, but I always had faith that they, well, would have faith. I admire their ability to learn and decipher and choose, and I am grateful for the free will I have instilled in them, but I must admit, I struggle...

I learned, for those who know what this means, that I am not the only one who cares so much, even when, perhaps, I shouldn't.  I have a gratitude for that not many would understand.

I learned that I am over-prepared for the worst - always.  Interesting.

Look at everything I learned... how could I not be grateful?  Even if it is Monday.