"I'm Right Here"

So, I don't really know how it happened.  Usually, it's not possible unless I am alone.  But it did.  It happened. Three other people in the house, and still...it happened.

I watched a movie, by myself, with very minimal interruption, in the quiet, in the dark, with my salt lamp glowing.

Two hours, fifteen minutes.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

I cried.

And from the darkness, there was a voice.  I knew he was there, but he was so quiet, just watching me, watching the movie.

I wiped a tear...

"It's okay mom, I'm right here..."

Extremely Loud... Incredibly Close.

Grateful.

Time To Smell The Flowers

One really, really good night's sleep.  New jeans, good hair.  Comfortable boots, sunshine.

And flowers.  A busy day after my birthday interrupted by a delivery of beautiful flowers. 

...and I took the time to smell them.  Grateful.   

It Just Gets Better With Age

This morning started out my 36th year.  My hair wouldn't do a thing, nothing fit right, I lost my keys - then my mind.  This was not how my birthday morning was supposed to be...


I got to work and one of the girls sent me an email to wish me a Happy Birthday, and I said it could only get better than my morning, as it had not been great since I got up.  She replied "at least you got up..."  Check gratefulness, and be grateful for the reminder.

Yes.  I got up.  I was gifted another birthday.  My dear friend brought me a gift that meant the world to me, my phone flooded with messages and birthday wishes. Flowers grace my table, the girlies at work shared cupcakes with me, my kids made me cards and brought me presents.  My parents brought me dinner, and we shared some tea and laughter.  My husband bought me glitter and security, and made me smile.

I got up, to life, to laughter, to hugs and kisses and a warm love filled house.  I woke up at home, and I am grateful.


I heard on the radio this morning that 33 is the best year of your life.  I thought about it.  Yes, 33 was a good year.  A very, very good year.  But this year, well...I think the old adage "it just gets better with age" applies.  Thirty six sure looks good to me.

Getting By In Silence

Somewhere in between empathy and friendship is a place called silence.  It's a place of lines drawn in the sand, of boundaries, and of time.  It's a solitary place where self lessons are learned, self awareness grows from pain, and where learning to be alone is an acceptable and respectable.

It is a place that not every one knows of.  It is a place where, too often, people do not realize the necessity of it, or their intrusion in it.  I for one, am grateful that I do. I am grateful for my ability to avoid meddling and fixing.  I am grateful for my ability to hold healing that waits to be wanted.

In between empathy and friendship is silence.  Sometimes silence is just what is needed to get by.

A Quart Low

I spent the day with boys... Back in the shop with testosterone filled man types that don't cry and harbor a grudge for three weeks if you call them a name or tell them off.  It was a nicely timed reminder, and I am grateful for it.

Don't get me wrong, I love my fill of my office girlies every day, but ohhhhhh I miss the very different interaction with men.  I like the laid-backness of it all.  I like the change up.  I like the change of scenery.

It seems I was a quart low on testosterone, and I remedied it with a little bossiness and foul language.  Thank goodness.

I do wonder, however, if anyone ever tells those boys what a breath of fresh air they are... probably not.  That's why I brought them extra large coffees and breakfast this morning.  ;)

Mini Masseuse

For every time I heard "Please Mom... I promise I'll rub your shoulders if I can... Please, please, please?", I totally cashed in tonight.

I plopped down in front of my own personal, eleven year old masseuse, and said "I am cashing in".  And for her tiny little fingers that can work out knots the size of grapefruits, I am grateful. For the headache that disappeared, and the tension that left the building...

Grateful.

(I am sticking with this picture because you would not believe what comes up when you google "mini masseuse"!! and as my phone was way too far away to interrupt such bribed relaxation, I don't have one of my own ;)  )

I Cried Today

I happened by a video today.  It was sweet, and devastating.  It was hopeful and courageous, and brave and tearful.  It really had no relevance to me, other than the deep seeded sympathy I had for a young mother in her decision to grace another family with the child she was carrying.  It was a video letter to her daughter, on the day after she was born, as her new adoptive family carried her home.  I sobbed through the whole thing.  

I cried, not only for a young mother placing her daughter into the hands of someone she chose to raise her child, but for her heart ache and for every missed moment. 

I found myself overwhelmed with this longing, and cried for every missed moment of my own.  That's the thing about touching moments - they spark this feeling in my belly, and fire like synapses, making attachments to everything I know.  I found myself crying for every missed moment I have had, selfishly knowing that I will be afforded a million more as years pass, but for just a moment, I took the time to cry for everything I have missed.  

For every good night said, but not under my own roof.  For every trip that I wasn't behind the photographic moment.  For every smile I never saw, for every laugh I missed.  For every fear that I couldn't calm, for every other hand that held theirs.  For every decision made, including those that did not belong to me, that forced missed moments, I cried.  

There is something to be said for the release of emotion.  It is a necessary device.  To hold the emotion, own it, and then... rejoice in the gratitude of what is.  

For every missed moment, I cried, and set my tears on the warm spring breeze.  

Blue Skies and Sunshine

Blue skies and sunshine lit up the day.

Water ran down the troughs, and through the streets.

The smell of Earth coming back to life is abundant.  I am grateful for awakenings and hope, and the changing of seasons.

There is newness.

Thrifty

11 Picture frames.
                               2 Paint brushes.
                                                           2 Shower caddies.
                                                                                             1 Shower curtain liner.
                                                                                                                                    1 White acrylic paint.
20 Dollars.
                         1 Full Bag.
                                                      Dollar Store.
                                                                                      Thrifty.
                                                                                                              Grateful.

Apple Jacks!

So many things made my day today...

Hubs hung my pallet photo wall so I could continue on it's creation.  Grateful.  I ordered some family pictures - grateful to fill some empty frames and spaces. *little girl squeel "yay!"*

And when I went to print my lovely pictures for my wall... and had to pick up a few groceries...

I... found...

APPLE JACKS!!!!!!

In an instant, with a handful of Apple Jacks jammed down my throat, I was ten years old, and so, so very happy.  Thank you Kellogs for Limited Edition cereals that give us a moment made for ten year olds.  

What a great day.... 

Grateful.

Sweetness

A handful of Hershey's Kisses, just enough sweet to get by.

                                                    

                                           Grateful.  

Now, I'm a little sweeter, and full of kisses.  Someone else may be grateful too ;) .

Truth About Friendship

Let me tell you something about friendship.  

Wait...rewind...

I don't think I need to tell most of you that read this anything about friendship, or how I feel about it.  So, yes, this blog is directed, and one person in particular, I'm sure will read it, and understand why I am so very grateful for my real friends. 

Friendship is a state of being between two people.  A state of trust and respect; of love and admiration, of mutual understanding of values and boundaries.  Friendship is not a place where defense is needed, it is not a place where humiliation is accepted.  Friendships in my life do not consist of insults.  

It never fails to fascinate me how grateful I am some days for unanswered prayers, positive energy, and a failure to accept less than admirable behavior.  It saddens me that some adults struggle with their esteem so much they feel they need to try to find humor in insults to make themselves feel better.  It also makes me wonder if they are ever going to be able to move forward - and that being said, I am grateful I know it's not my place to make sure they do. 

To my Friends, I cherish you.  

Love. 

My friends fly with me on the wind, not pull me out of the clouds. 

Just Let Me Lie Down

What a loooooooong day.  I am grateful it's over.

 It's 10:23 p.m.  That means I have been up 18 hours. I have officially run out of steam. 

Just let me lie down...

(p.s.  I am grateful for that book - it made me laugh until I cried.  It's on the top of my must read book list)

I think I may read it again.  It was more than that good.

 

Electric Warmth

I walked in the chill of the evening, and by the time I got home, the chill had found it's way right into my bones.  Not even a hot shower erased the cold.

So tonight, as I am every cold winter's night, or every night my joints and bones ache, I am ever grateful for the electric blanket on my bed, and it's warmth that soothes my body.

Come on summer... my joints miss you.

It'll Be Today Tomorrow

Type, type, type... nah... delete, delete, delete.  

I don't know.  I mean I know... but... I don't know.  

I had a busy day, and didn't get done anything I had planned to.  

I cooked and had a family dinner for my Dad's birthday, and a great visit.  I am always grateful for time with my parents.  I think dinner has left me in lactose overload and tryptophan overdose, and mostly, my brain is mush.

Tomorrow, I think, may be a more creative day.  Or maybe not, and maybe it will be quiet with a movie.  Or maybe not.  Maybe there will be walk, or more cooking, or crafting... Or maybe not.  The thing is, I have tomorrow, and I am grateful.  I am always grateful for every tomorrow, and for every tomorrow that turns into today. 

My Dad

It's my Dad's birthday today, and I am celebrating his day.  There are no words to describe the love and respect I have for him.  It is immeasurable.  It is the sun and moon, the stars and sand, the seas and soft breezes. 

My life had been filled with lessons, and for every single one of them, and for my father, I am grateful.  

Beyond teaching me to drive - and not crash into the gas pumps, and making sure I knew real men opened doors, there were lessons I learned from admiring qualities of a great man.

Patience.  Rationality.  Fairness.  Walking away when you can, and stepping into the punch when you can't.  

Grateful isn't a big enough word.  I hope my children love me just as much as I love him.

Forever Daddy's girl.

Willow Willow Will You?

This morning, a spider.

This afternoon, A fly.

(yes, I started singing the song right about here... "I don't know why she swallowed the flyyyyyyyyyyy...."

Back to my thought...

Puddles, sunshine, running water.

And tonight, with a head full of mood and wandering thoughts, I looked up..

Pussy Willows.

Among the tangled wrath of life, a gentle softness easing it's way into the sun.  Seasons are changing, and I am grateful.  

Golden Honey

I had an intention of going to the first Farmer's Market of the year today.  I was grateful market was back in swing, as I was in need of some natural honey.  I was on my way out the door, saying "Hooray for Farmer's Day! I need honey"...when a voice called out "Don't buy it!!!"...

Ummm ok?

Well, much to my pleasure, one of the girls from work brought in a huge pail of honey to share, and said to just bring a container and fill it up.  

This honey is organic, pure, golden deliciousness, and I am grateful for it.  And I am grateful to Barb for sharing, and for saving me twenty five dollars at market today.  

I shall pay it forward.

Kitchen Ninja

I acquired a treasure today.

This is a Kitchen Ninja.



This is a Kitchen Ninja, and I LOVE to cook.




I am grateful for cheffin' tools.  And for the gift of appreciation that made it possible.

Applause? For Me? Oh Why Thank You Very Much...

You know those crazy tall Lombardy Poplar trees?  In the 'not quite officially spring, kind of still winter" bareness?

Well I decided that in the breeze tonight, while I was walking, they sound like they are clapping.  And I was grateful for the encouragement.

That's right, lets have a round for healthier living.  Well done.

Tolerable Fitness

What can I say?  When it comes to a workout, I am ok with the admission of laziness.  Truth be told, I just would rather not.  Wouldn't it be great if one could stay healthy without it?  

I came across a fast, decent work out today that I can tolerate.  There is no video.  There are no special machines.  Just plain, human hard work.  In fact, I did it while watching Footloose - and I didn't hate it.  

Who knew I would be grateful for things we learned in gym class that I hated then.  

Lather, rinse, repeat = results.

In Love With The Day

Spring Sunshine.

                                                    Road trip.

             Cinnamon Dolce latte.

                                                                             Chapters.

                                                                                                                             Quiznos.

                                       Passion Iced Tea.

Dancing with my turkey. <3

                                                                           Pretty Things.

                                         Kerry.

                                                                                           Singing on the highway.

                    Hubs and Love.

                                                                    Content.

                                                                          Grateful.

The Letter E

Today, I put in some effort to track down something that was missing.  Forgive me, I am bound to be vague, as it does concern 'work stuff'.  Thing is, someone else had already given up on it, and I knew it could be found.

Often when someone tells me "you can't do that", it forces me to, well- do it.  And, you know what, I am so grateful for that defiant trait.  It gets me places.

Yes I can, and yes I did.  With a little super sleuth and math work (that's right, math work), I found the missing piece of the puzzle others walked away from.  The determination made all the difference.  The effort makes a difference.

(now how's that for coincidence? Just A Little Noise http://justalittlenoise.blogspot.com/2012/03/effort.html today is all about the results of effort - turns out, it's the word of the day. Effort.)

I am grateful for my super sleuth work and finding what I needed, which made me pretty darn proud of myself.

This Blog was brought to you by the letter E... for Effort.

My Feet Carry Me

I've said it once, and I will say it again... there is just something about a great walk in some brisk air.  It clears my head, it makes me feel alive, and healthy.  In all of the simplicity of it all, I am grateful for my feet that carry me.  I am grateful for my heart that beats that moves my blood.  I am grateful for for being able to walk, and feel great, and feel alive.

May the road always rise before me.  

A Little Hope

It's funny how one phone call can turn a day around - especially a call from a teacher with solutions.  I knew it was possible, and I am so grateful.  I am grateful for teachers who care enough to pick up the phone, I am grateful for suggestions and solutions.  I am grateful for understanding.  I am grateful for hope. 

...closer than they appear. 

Here Comes The Sun

I was tired of the falling snow today, and the grey and gloom... so I busted out a song.

"Here comes the sun la da da da, here comes the sun, and I say, it's alright.... Little darlin, I feel that ice is slowly metlin', little darlin' it seems like years since it's been clear..."

And with the song,

Came the Sun, and I was so grateful. 

That's right, I just took credit for the sunshine today.  You are welcome.  ;)

Beautiful Eyes To See Through The White Out

Wow, Mother Nature is really sockin' it to us!  I am sure we have seen more snow in three days than we have all winter.  I am not a fan.  Actually, it makes me grumpy.

This morning, I had to venture out a little (ok, a lot) earlier than usual - as I am the driver of a 4x4 (and today, as I watch plenty of stuck vehicles spin and halt, I am grateful!), and even though the hubs has a truck, in weather like this, a two wheel drive will get him no where - literally.  One would think that being up at 4:30 in the morning would make me a little waspy.  The truth is, I wasn't thrilled, but I really didn't mind.  I mind the snow, I mind the wet, heavy drenching of it.  I mind the roads and the freezing ice on my windshield that forces me to open a window to snap the ice off the wipers.  I mind worrying about those who need to drive and work in this mess of a spring snow storm.

But all that I mind in mind, I opened the door at 4:50 a.m., and stepped into the white wonder to be met with the magnificence of a mule dear. She stood perfectly still, as shocked as I that we were close enough to face to face for both of our likings.  Her ears straight up, her eyes wide, she pounced off down the street, into the quiet blanket beyond her boundaries.

I am grateful for the magnificence of the creatures that share our space, and for the reminder to just stop for a minute to remember the beauty Mother Nature gives us among the white out that we have a hard time seeing past.  It's just a little snow, this too shall pass.

Pintervention

I'll tell you what... I need a Pintervention.

I am in love with Pinterest.  I spend hours playing with someone else's ideas and genius.  I have remodeled my kitchen, my bathroom, bedrooms, and living room, all in my mind, and haven't spent a dime - and for that, I am grateful!  Every time I am decided on a new look, I find another.

It never fails, I find genius ideas with the simplest means.  Do it yourself screens made from lace, floating pallet shelves, recipes, tables... on and on.  I love playing in the sandboxes of someone else's mind!  Move on over, make room for this chefin' crafter.  Pinterest, you are the key to all boredom.

Ya, Ya

A funny thing happens when passionate opinions collide.  An explosion of right and wrong and all the grey in between blows out into the open for public examination.  It gets messy sometimes.  

But here's something I learned today.  I am a grown up.  I can reasonably discuss my opinion, admit an oversight of someone else's feelings, apologize and move on.   I can accept that my passion or my stake in whatever I am fighting for can clog my brain to mouth filter, and I can learn from it.  

I admire another "grown up" being able to say their piece just as peacefully, debate the sides of the argument, and move forward, agreeing that passionate opinions make us pretty kick ass women, and for that, I am grateful.  Ya, ya.  

Calm Before The Storm

Ok... 

Education system...

Broken. 

I tried to fix what I could.  Not one teacher will listen.  

I thought, maybe, I was running out of steam when I sat so quietly at the kitchen table, staring at blank work sheets in a binder.  I thought I was out of fight when I saw the barely passing mark on the quiz that separated the blank units of work sheets.  

Big breath.  Quiet. 

I stopped thinking, and I just felt.  Turns out, it's not exhaustion.  It's the calm before the storm.  

And I am grateful.  

Craving Quench

I just finished a super salty snack...nachos and salsa.  I don't even like salsa really, but ever since Team Us went to Banff, and had dinner at Chili's... I have been craaaaaaaaaaaaving it.  I actually contemplated driving to Edmonton for dinner.  No, really.

So there I was, satiated with sodium... and very, very thirsty.  It's 9:30.  No soda.  Too close to bed for milk.  I pulled open the fridge...and

there it was.

Right at the back of the fridge, where I hid it from- well, to be honest, everyone!  

Oh, right at that moment, I was grateful for my favorite vitamin water!  I love it!

And now it's done, and so am I.  

That's a wrap!