And an "aha!" moment.
I have taught myself a lot of restraint in the past...let's say...5 years. I have learned to restrain over zealousness, I have learned to restrain impulse. I have learned to restrain anger, and I have learned to restrain words that have bite, that break windows of glass houses. For the most part, I am grateful for the restraint I have learned, and for the application of restraint in my life. It is very hard, continuous work.
But there are days... Lord, are there days...
I used to be a very passionate person; very emotional, very involved, very intense.
Used to be...
Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Is it possible, that the restraint that I have worked so hard to implement in my life has cast a shadow over my emotional self? Have I learned so much restraint, that my emotions are now restrained? Am I ok with that? Is being controlled, even by oneself, something to be grateful for?
The "aha" moment? Is it that I am lonely for my passionate, feeling, emotional self? Yes...Yes I am.
Time to get off the fence... and reacquaint myself with a lack of restraint. And when I find my voice again, I will be Grateful.
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