The Rushing In My Ears

So, this recent flu has left me with spidey senses.  Everything is too loud, everything is too bright, and everything moves too fast.  It seems like this world of chaos swirling around me, just thinking about it makes me anxious.  Sometimes life is just too loud. My head feels too heavy for my shoulders, and it's affecting my patience...

Tonight, I will be grateful for bed time.  A time when the house goes quiet, and the lights gets dim, and the talking just shhhhhhhhhhhhushes..  I will take some time for myself, and I will just sit for a while and breathe.  I will watch my lab sleep, I will watch the neighborhood settle.  I will have a hot shower, and wash away my day, crawl into bed and lay there and listen to the silence.

In the silence I start to hear.  I hear moments.  I hear "I love you mom"s and I hear laughter of friends.  I hear the first time my husband told me he loved me, with the thunder and lightening crashing around us.  I hear waterfalls.

I remember standing on the bridge at Athabasca falls, the spray in my face.  The sound was so loud; it rushed into my ears, and into my soul.  That fall in front of me, filled my every sense, and filled my soul for a moment.  It moved me, and it made me silent.  When it's quiet, I can hear it in my soul.

For every action, there is an equal reaction, and this loud rushing in my ears will bring me silence. It will be own ironic peace.