The Shades of Friendship

I have been thinking a lot lately (as per yesterday's nagging voices) about friendship.  I came across two things today that deserve some attention.

There is white...

I can count on one hand the number of my friends that fit this bill in any given day.  These are my kindred spirits who are with me in my darkest hours, who celebrate with me, who cry with me in sorrow and joy.  They shed tears instead of drying mine. These are the people who's souls intertwine with mine in laughter, and even more so in the quiet sunbeams.  I am so eternally grateful for these people.  Without them, my soul would be lost.  When was the last time you evaluated the friendships in your life?  Are you this kind of friend?  This is the kind of friend I pray my true kindred souls find in me.


And there is black...

This is the nagging voice that just won't leave me alone.  My soul cries for the "friend" that I once knew.  The voice keeps asking me why I insist on hanging onto the hurt, coddling that soul that used to caress mine, yet turned it's back and walked away.  I find the lesson of lost friendships so terribly devastating - and I have seen my share.  I have listened intently to the voice of forgiveness, of newness, and of grief, but I seem to be deafened to the voice of letting go.  Perhaps I should be grateful for the deafening silence of that voice, as I always seem to be the one holding onto the rope, just in case someone falls and no one else is there to catch their soul.  

Maybe it's not so black and white, and maybe, I should be grateful for the hues of grey in between the light and dark.  Then again, maybe I should get a hearing aid.  (that sentence had way more bite when I read it out loud...wow...)

So how do we know when it's time to let go of the people we once knew?  Do we ever, truly?  I suppose, for some people with walls of steel around their heart and soul, the process may not be a difficult one.  But for souls - as I like to think mine is - that open and breathe life, and welcome fellow journey travelers with open arms and unconditional love, that feel emotion beyond the surface, can we look in the eyes of someone we shared ourselves with, and just...let it be?  Is that a choice of ours? Can we ever just look back, and be grateful for the time, and let go, even if it brings us knee buckling, heart wrenching pain?  

Today in my tumultuous voices of friendship, I am so grateful for those true friends I can count on one hand, and I am also grateful, I think, that I find it much more difficult to let people become just people I once knew.