During her quiet time on the couch, I had the opportunity to read an article in this month's issue of Best Health. There was a story that touched my soul, and I am grateful for moments of realization. This story, was about a woman who lived a fast paced life, always go, go go. She had no outlet for her feelings, and was often drowning them in negative behavior. She said at one point, she felt as if she was on the "treadmill of life" and was always running - until one day when the treadmill just stopped. She had just had her second child, and found a tumor in her breast. She was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, and was given one year to live.
Refusing to be a 95% percent statistic, she did what she could to be the 5% - a survivor. She sought out medical treatments to fight the disease, but also sought out methods to learn ways to release the negative in her life she felt was holding onto her illness. She wanted to be well. She wanted to be whole.
In her path, she met a psychologist that helped her deal with feelings, burdens, guilts and negativities. This is the part of the story that touched my soul. She learned a visualization exercise to use when she began to feel overwhelmed by her feelings. Her psychologist had her visualize walking down a set of stairs to a place where she was safe, a place she could always return to when life seemed too much. She saw herself sitting on a dock at her cabin, dangling her feet in the water, with a man sitting beside her. She told the man she felt burdened by her cancer, and her constant drive for success, and the pain in her life. As they spoke, he put his hand on her back, and said "this is too much for you to carry, give it to me". And then he took her bad feelings and grief, and put them in his backpack, and she felt at peace.
I read this with tears in my eyes, and I whispered, "Give it to God". She (me) didn't always have to be this super-person, always conquering the world on her (my) own. When you (I) feel like you (I am) are facing a demon head on, and that burden is just too heavy...Give it to the Creator, and be grateful for the option to not carry it alone.
Many years ago, I once heard someone say this of forgiveness. There are somethings, that we, as humans, do not have the capacity to forgive - so give it to God, and let him forgive, for we are just human.
I am grateful for the reminder that I will never have to carry a burden alone - no matter the size, no matter the winding road, no matter how steep. I will give it to God, and replace it with peace. I am just human, and I believe.
Oh yes! By the way, it's been ten years since her diagnosis. She is still not entirely cancer free. She still has two spots, one on a rib, one on her skull, but the cancer that remains has not grown in six years. She still returns, when she needs to, to her place on the dock, and shares her burdens with a friend.
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