Tricky Little Demons

Fear.  It's a tricky little demon.  It changes everything.  It's powerful, and dark.  It takes and takes, and leaves a space where a different part of a soul once lived.  It's haunting, too, like a lurking shadow, and it's scariest when you are alone.  I know fear.  I have fear that lives in dark corners (and in mail boxes).  I have fears that have deep roots, I have fears that have history.  It's a shape shifter, it's a schizophrenic loonatic.  It will wake me from sleep or send me into a slumber.  I can hear it laugh at me, I can see it's smirk.  It can disguise itself as an angry bully.  It throws sharp words like knives in the darkness...loud , clear words.  It's the monster in a closet, or under a bed; it's the reflection in the mirror I pretended not to see.  It's the breathlessness when I try to scream, it's the tears that won't come, the racing pulse, and the cold sweat.  I know fear.

I know...

And I know conviction.  It's the breathlessness of elation, it's the tears of joy, it's raging pulse and sweat of hard work and a job well done.  It's the pride in my voice, and the kindness in my words.  I know determination.  I know challenge, and  I know courage.  I hear laughter, and let it be rapture.  I see the light in the dark, and strength in my soul.  I can close doors and open windows.  I know those are my green eyes in the mirror despite the cloudy reflection.  It will clear.  I know fear, and fear knows my fortitude.  I will win, I am stronger.  I will lift my chin, and eye to eye stare down the demon in my path.  It will move, or I will go through it.  I will make it to the other side, watch me.   

I know... I know me, and I am grateful.  

I am also grateful, that maybe, from my dark places, others can see light...three fold.